rambling about a movie (not a review, or anything coherent)

I just watched an independent film called “the Motel” it is about a Asian american family that own and operate a hourly rate motel in what looks like a poor white town. For me the movie is more about the adage of boy (Ernest) becoming man, or the relationship of father and son, and in this case the absent father. I have learned a lot about this topic from reading the fairy tale Iron John, and the psychology behind it from Robert Bly, also the not so great books from christian authors Donald Miller (to own a dragon) and John Eldridge (wild at heart) there seems to be a lot of connection between a boy needing another man to affirm his masculinity.

The movie revolves around a young Asian kid Ernest, who is like many adolescents clueless to life. (kind of sounds like me, and I am an adult ?!) He meets an older guy named Sam who is staying at the motel, you usually see him coming in with hookers and always has a bottle of some kind of alcohol, great role model right? but in this story it is just what the boy needs. He is caught in living life with his guard up and is not anywhere near allowing risk or chance have a role in his life.

It’s rather depressing in the end, but it does show a perplexing view into the male psyche that is just completely unanswerable in this existence. My favorite part of the movie is when they are stopped on the roadside (Ernest and Sam  and they start yelling to the heavens “I want to be happy!!”, “I want to be fucking happy!!” and Sam shares the Buddhist philosophy that life is a process of finding enlightenment. Every trial and every obstacle is the pursuit of becoming closer to that enlightenment. I don’t give a damn about cinematography, and known actors, if a movie can remind me of this core foundation of this existence. All the while inspiring me, it has achieved more for me than I can say for a lot of higher budget movies.

That’s all I got for today. Merry fucking Christmas. I am spending it alone, but I am OK with that. For once in my life, I am happy, and have no reverberating voices that taunt me otherwise.

morality is subjective?

I think intellectually, personally, logic and overall perspective of life is highly esteemed in the favor of the atheist. But as far as morals are concerned they must be divinely inspired, otherwise we are only living by whatever idea of “right” and “wrong” we were brought up believing. Which is a bunch of rubbish, because I could do whatever the hell I want. My fear of man is the only limitation to the caliber of depravity I wish to invest. If we behave and act like animals, why does the world get all bent out of shape when human beings go on these mass murdering sprees? they do this because we are brainwashed into believe that we are animals.

fuck you “christian”

word travels like waters through the everglades. Words spoken through the mouths of the hypocrites, their only motive is to elevate their own egos. Bolster false confidence through the misery found in their fellow human beings. Supporting claims of divinity, but living the lie inside their heads is the image of themselves, the golden calf – self.

targeting an audience or self interest?

The fact that this is public material that I post, is no doubt a benefit of accumulating some kind of an audience, whether I want to admit it or not. Yes this is no doubt for my own interest and archival purposes, but it would be nice to garner a audience who can appreciate this with me. Self righteous indignation? I honestly don’t think so. With this all being said I think this blog is far too broad and it doesn’t really have a centralized theme, and it’s hard to gain an audience when by first impression alone, I bet most people just open the site and think “what the hell is this?” and then leave.

I am still uncertain of the purpose of this blog, and am really going to do some thinking about how I can make this something enjoyable, not only for myself, but for other people. Or maybe just continue doing what I am doing, and see where things lead up to. All the same, I enjoy the idea of a blog focused around music, writing and art. Which I do suppose has been the central theme all along.

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