Dark Souls: Chapter 6, “A dish of new content”

Avast! antivirus, no silly this is more exploits of my running around in Dark Souls. First things first, I have successfully decimated all of the main bosses, it is time now to piece together a strategy to complete everything that I missed the first time around.

Firstly for better or worse, I killed Alvina the cat looking thing in Darkroot Garden. There was a slight deliberation before I went along and made the first attack on one of her cronies. After wiping out her assembly of a fudge bandits, I went looking for her. First time around she/them killed me, I had no idea there were like 3-4 of them that attack you all at once. I came back more prepared and delivered myself a not so satisfying victory. Why? because she didn’t drop anything, and now every time I go to the Darkroot Garden, I have to deal with her guards. They respawn, and are kind of annoying when you trying to get from point, A to be point B. For what its worth, they do offer a nice amount of souls.

After searching around I found out about some additional content was added to game, and is available for download on the xbox, but I am 95% sure it’s already available on my game. I killed the Hydra killed the Crystal Golem, freeing Dusk of Oolacile. Only thing left to do is find the Crystal Golem in Dukes archives, who I searched high and low for, but cannot find him. I now have accurate coordinates of his whereabouts and will try to be as optimistic as possible that he will drop me the Broken Pendant. After all this is completed I should be able to get to the Sanctuary Garden, which is exciting because I have never been there before.

I hope to make a write up at how (un)successful I am at this, regardless of outcome. Though it would be a major letdown if I cannot get in there.

That saga continues for the search of the golden toaster oven, containing the golden brown toast of  Carbohydrates, thus intruding the Metabolism of Galvankall, to successfully assemble the bowel movement of restoration.

Demonic Souls: Chapter 4, “the four dickheads”

I have now coming to a chilling conclusion that has to be the most discouraging moments in the game. See the Four Kings were one of the easiest boss battles in my first time around playing this game, but they to have got a hold of some dbol (anabolic steroids), because they absolutely offer no mercy in this battle. You can roll around, hit, but they they have attacks that will literally devastate your life bar. This is the first fight that I can honestly say is 100% luck, skill technique, is out the fucking window.

I was told a good approach in terms of equipment is concerned is to wear the Dark Knight set, Mask of the Child and the Grass Crest Shield because of the increased stamina it offers. I died almost seconds with this setup, my defense took too much of a sacrifice, to do this build justice, though the noticeable stamina regen was tempting. And with the weapon use, havel’s gear is out of the question. I really want to have a lot more poise than I do, and I know havel will get me that.

As I mentioned before this fight literally a hit, pot combination that make seconds the most determining factor involved with survival. I have got them down to a quarter of life, so I know that I can take them, its just a matter of running to them, and remaining motivated to kill them.

Prior to this fight was Sif, the Great Grey Wolf who albeit the new difficulty (ng+) remains one of the easier bosses.

Ya know my frustration from the amount of deaths I was dealt at the Four Kings, had led me to become obsessed for blood shed. So I disregarded my covenant with Alvina in the Darkroot Garden, and went around killing of her soldiers. It was one of the most satisfying outlets for my frustration. Most the npc’s as I’ve found out turn on you anyway, so might as well just kill em’ all!

After work tonight I will give it another go at the Four Kings, maybe figure out a way to wear Havel’s gear. Currently I am using Iron Armor all +5 which is a hike on defense even over the Havel set. But where it shines in defense, it lacks in poise.

This was a minor recap, maybe I will give a better recount of my exploits in the game. All I know is that the Four Kings must die, and perform several inappropriate things with their dead bodies. Like force feed them cheese whiz and then roll their dead bodies in some kind of batter and then make a snack out of their bodies. Sanity level declining, more to come soon. Peace, love and hair grease.

Dark Souls, Chapter 3: Die, die, die, my darling (NG+)

(this and other posts contain certain spoilers, if you want to keep the game new to yourself, read on with caution), (this is more for archival purposes more than anything else, this is probably very boring and unnecessary – so move on…)

Ornstein was slayed and Slough was executed, respectively in that order. I took no prisoners, I didn’t intend on grinding, but it kind of just happened that way. See I was desperate for all 20 of my estus flask, so if while attempting to get to the boss fight I would lose a significant amount of life, I would just homeward bone(r) back to the shrine, and then rinse and repeat. I know that this is completely unnecessary and borders on noobish behavior if not already. So anyways I actually got my strength to level 50 which means I was finally able to equip the  Dragon King Greataxe, although it seemed like a small boost in my attack, it was enough to kind of invigorate me to want to press on, I was using the dragon tooth basically all through the game, with the exception when I first started playing and was using the Halberd, I digress.

The fight between Slough and Ornstein went like this. I killed Ornstein within seconds, so it was just Slough, myself and Solaire to fight. Slough absolutely raped Solaire, his ass smash had him dead pretty quick. So I went back to the same strategy I used against Gwyn, which was finding one of the broke down pillars and any opportunity taking a swing at Slough. It was basically a 10-20 minute game of cat and mouse, and at long last I had defeated them, what a humiliatingly awful conclusion, considering my stats, build etc. But in all honesty I consider myself a casual gamer, its rare a game catches my attention like Dark Souls did. 
If my memory is correct, I headed to the Catacombs after the shiz went down in Anor Londo. The catacombs was one of the biggest pains in my ass, well next to Blighttown, er the Tomb of the Giants… nevermind that. This time around I noticed a lot of stuff that I missed before, particularly the location of a firekeeper shrine, and the location of a blacksmith (Vamos) that I never even knew existed until this playthrough, it also opened up to me a kind of shortcut, that was especially useful in the case of having to backtrack at all. I was gaining traction, moving along pretty well. I got to the boss Pinwheel who I demolished easily, he/it has never given me any real trouble. 
Next on my plate was Tomb of the Giants, which was giving me more of a hassle than it should have. This was because I forgot to change shields, and was using a shield that had less than 100% against physical. After the swap it was difficult, but now manageable. Notable encounters include the scenario with a guy named Patches, who I was already aware would betray me, so I just killed him. I know if you play it right you can get him to sell you wares, but I didn’t really care to use him. After that I ran into a new face, Rhea of Thorolund. I must have skipped past this area completely my first time through. She asks me to kill her escorts Vince and Nico of Thorolund, whom I find quickly after talking to her. Killed em’ was on my way. After this and a few other events/places I missed before, I was trying to move efficiently but kind of slower this time around, trying to uncover anything new. I was already aware of Leeroy ahead and got to that point in human form. I am not sure when/how I forgot, but there is a black knight that came at me like a bat out of hell, was completely unexpected. Pressing forward towards the boss fight with Gravelord Nito. Prior to, you fight some pinwheel servants and the little baby skeletons, that are a royal pain in the ass. It took me a bit of running around to realize that they infinitely respawn. So I just killed the servants and got the hell out of there. The fight with Gravelord Nito was not too successful the first time around, but my second go at him was the winner. After this I headed to New Londo Ruins. 
This was not necessarily needed, considering I hadn’t secured the Covenant of Artorias to even begin the boss fight agains with the Four Kings. I just wanted to clear out the place, so it was done and out of the way, also in the case I wanted to farm Darkwraiths. 
Moving right along to the Dukes Archives. Only thing worth noting is Big Hat Logan, a guy that is locked up and needs to be freed. I either missed this, or just forgot about it, because I don’t remember this at all the first time through. Seriously had such a disastrous time in this place, my first time around, so I wasn’t exactly excited to have to go at it again. But this time was really stress free, and pretty easy to get around. After looting the Archives, I headed towards the Crystal Cave. 
Took me a bit to remember how to kill Seath the Scaleless, I don’t know how it came to me, but I eventually figured out how to weaken him so you can actually do damage. The buck stops here, see ya next time. When I venture back some old places, and new places, and talk about how taco bell is not authentic mexican food, or how coke is better than pepsi, wait what the fuck am I going on about. This is the comedic relief necessary for a post this boring, sorry. Till next time.

chapter 1. Dark Souls ramble

I beat Dark Souls, last saturday. I defeated the mighty lord gwyn and his bitch ass slut bag gwyneth. The victory was bittersweet. I guess at the end of the game you make a decision to become lord over all the land, or you click the bonfire and start the game over as an undead. I without thinking choose to click the bonfire so now I am playing the game over from beginning to end, and it’s just as much fun as it was the first time through. Plus all of my stats/level, equipment everything remains the same. As if it couldn’t be any more difficult I think they might have heightened the difficulty level, or maybe just boost the stats of the ai.  

Gwyn, Lord of Cinder
Pretty sure Solaire is gay
It was also brought to my attention that I seemed to have rushed through the game, missing out on a lot of boss battles and potential booty. That is the beauty of this game, it is not linear in the regard that you follow said path and continue on and so forth. The game is completely open, and it gives the player the role to seek out whatever path he may choose. 
I feel like such a complete dork for being obsessed with a game, I feel like I am an adolescent again. My dick gets a little hard when I add a couple +;s to a piece of equipment. I cannot wait to get my xbox live back and start to take advantage of the on-line play. 
I understand there is a sequel, but as of right now it makes no difference to me. I will probably end up buying a ps3 first anyway, so I can play Demon Souls. 
Dark Sun Gyndolin
Kings Field
Something else that I find a bit fascinating is that the same developer From Software where the team behind King’s Field, that 1st person action role playing game for the playstation, I remember it when it was first out and was really impressed. Though at the time, I had the attention span of a spazz on ritalin. My patience was minimal to say the least. Especially if it was a difficult game, that actually required the ability to solve puzzles and defeat challenging enemies. 
 I guess the whole purpose of writing this, is to endorse the entertainment that video game’s offer us. Lets face it, life sucks, it sucks really bad. And anything that can help distract you from life, is a great addition. I am not talking about taking mind altering substances and drugs/alcohol. I am just giving credit where it is due. And in this case, video games. 
Back to Dark Souls, I just beat Dark Sun Gwyndolin, after attempt #20, I was going about it all wrong. She has 3 attacks, one is a barrage of arrows she shoots at you, the easiest of her attacks to deflect, then she has a large blue orb that will literally take down all of your life if hit by it. Fortunately this attack is one of the easiest to dodge, just a simple roll to the right or left will do the trick. The hardest of her attacks is when she shoots a barrage of blue orb like things, these all scatter and if not careful can deal some heavy damage. The best strategy is to roll towards a pillar on the side, and hope for the best. She is rather unpredictable. Though I think if you walk towards her with your shield down, she is more likely to start shooting off arrows.
Gwyn, Lord of Cinder the fucking beef cake casserole, with a flaming sword of bad assness, was by far the most challenging battles I experienced in the game. I was literally pulling my hair out at the amount of deaths he dealt to me. After numerous attempts I decided to find the largest rock formation, something I could hide behind and all the while have the ability to deal damage. It worked beyond well, it made me wonder why I was having such a fuss with that douche bag in the first place. 
Weapon of Choice
Hrm, trying to think of some more memorable moments. I think one thing for sure is how open the game world really is. You can traverse a path, unbeknownst opening up a path that was otherwise blocked. Everything will eventually interconnect in one way or another. The NPC’s are kind of fun to talk to, me personally I like to kill them all. But this next time around playing, I am going to spare their lives. I was surprised that killing them didn’t affect the outcome of the game. One of the biggest pain in the ass moments of this game is when you are in Anor Lando, and you have to traverse up the rooftop and there are 2 silver knights and they are both equipped with Dragonslayer Greatbows, and these are not your typical bow, a hit from them can catapult you off the building. It’s a huge challenging moment in the game. Best strategy I found, is to run towards the silver knight to the right, lock on him and just pray to god you land a blow that sends him off the ledge. 
Gwynevere and her um bodacious ta ta’s
The play mechanics to this game, kind of remind me of the old Playstation game Bushido Blade in the regard that you have to take into account endurance, parrying and not just blindly hacking and slashing. It is a demand for quick thinking and the ability to not just blindly enter battle without a strategy for defeat. 
I cannot remember playing a game like this before. I was just beginning to give up on next generation games, but this title has given me a new found hope in video games. I know I sound like a geek, but whatever this game is fun as hell.