This seminar and speaking event was not anything I was looking forward to or expecting to see, but much of the nature of youtube, is that the websites that are suggested and commended to me, reflect my viewing habits. And for once in my adult life, and yes I use the term adult very carefully, because I am treading into life with some very bad habits and immaturity that I have not responded well to or taken very seriously.
The routine of life is a chore in of itself, is not always easy, especially if the world you are walking into hates and dislikes you. And this is the dichotomy and the pain of the world and sin, and the Christian. Because on the one hand, we live in a free world, that operates and functions without the legality’s of the morals and teachings of scriptures, but we are integrated into a society that is counteractive to those beliefs and they contradict our role and existence as people and believers.
My issue with this website is one and its plain and simple, I am not a good person, I have been using drugs/alcohol, pornography and masturbation, almost routinely, and have not been addressing it but letting it sit and fester and not only disturb my peace, but also disturb my progress.
Sin is not something you routinely do and get accustomed to, its something you reject and rebel against. Its not one more sip of liquor, its not just 3 more minutes and I’ll be out the door, its now and its immediate and its spontaneous.
It isn’t easy, life is not easy, its a chore and a hard reality that we all have to face and go through, one step at a time. I am sorry for removing my contents and website, it was not right and it was my pride and ego that did it, because for once in my life I am being open and honest, and its, no worry to me that people know what I am doing, because the only one I am trying to impress is God.
My life is improving and getting better, and its not been because of myself, its because of God above. Life is not about sex, pleasure and spending money on useless trivial things, its about friendship and bonding with others, something that I have not been a very good person to do those things with. Because my mind was always trapped in trying to chase after pleasure, sex and money. Its the devil’s pedigree and his main ingredients and destruction to people. Human relationships and speaking to people is the doorway to opportunity.
Christians want to help people, not hurt them, or exploit them or harm them. If your business is sin, you are going to have a lot of business doing it, but when it comes down it, the tab at the end of a shift is an eternity in hell.
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