existence

This summarizes my beliefs, or lack thereof. I do to an extent feel a nagging on my spirit to exist, by something outside myself. But I will not subscribe to a human institution that brings about only contradiction and hypocrisy. I love the line, “if the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation for divine reward…”. This first season has some really excellent writing in it, a good deal of t&a but only to expose the aforementioned hypocritical views of the “believer”.

Irrelevancy will ensue beyond this point –> Its amazing how much restraint and discipline I have experienced from a lifestyle abstinent from sexual impulse and desire but also the ability to think for self, and avoid external influence (albeit the things which have a ring of truth to myself). I want to become something better than what I have been, which hasn’t been much at all.

Discipline of desires, not feeding the beast that gets hungry for the wrong things. Denying self the pleasures that only distract it from purpose, consequential circumstance will always remind it of purpose. It’s ignorance to continue down a path without realizing the consequence, I have to live with the conviction of my consequences. Betterment with a purposeful intent.

I am alive today not because nature interfered, but because the plug wasn’t pulled by a human being. I put myself in the position to be resuscitated, it was not divine interference, I think we all know in our minds what will be the outcome of our actions. If experience has taught me one thing, it is that, outside of myself no thing will clear a path for myself, the process can only be accomplished by my own efforts and ability. I think when a person hurts themselves and then considers their own survival because god pardoned them from death is selfish and hypocritical. How selfish of a person to believe the universe owes them something, myself included.

This ended up less coherent that I would have liked, but I felt the need to vent.