I think a considerable amount of time and effort is spent on trying to best your opponent in League of Legends, but I think something more to consider is the respect of the role and class of each player. I mean this specifically in the interest of the jungle, and its relationship to each lane.
It wasn’t brought to my attention until I realized things like helping leash the red/blue buff, or the scuttle crab in the river. Each of these directives corresponds to a benefit of income, hp/mana and vision.
The goal and the object of the game is to destroy the nexus, the priority and direction of each lane should reflect upon achieving this. But most importantly is knowing your position and what you’re supposed to focus on.
I think for the better half the game it’s this mentality that it’s a one-man game and that your team is an obstacle and a distraction. While in most scenarios, especially low Elo this is true. It’s better to decide for yourself to push aside your emotional frustrations and invest into the benefit of the outcome of a game. This is difficult and nauseating to achieve, but I think it is an attainable vision. I say this all as a reminder for myself, and hopefully as an encouragement to you as a player.
I am kind of devolved considering my thoughts on the chat gpt, where it being a new integral and formulaic way of escaping the actual act and physical capacity to muster and surmise a set syllables or verbs and nouns and make up a sentence, by yourself. Now we have the convenience of inputting our own data into a blender and letting it regurgitate whatever we want to see. It sounds fun and useful, and yes it probably is. But I am more comfortable relying on the spontaneity of my mind and letting it explore and give me the information I want to provide.
It goes the same with art and graphics, now you can take a couple pictures and throw it in the blender and allow a spontaneous combustion of images come out as a result. Originality and identity are soon going to be missing. And yet here I am still arranging and organizing my thoughts in way that I think presentable for you to read.
Really are some big things brewing on the music front we got new Extol and Crimson Moonlight coming, and the Horrendous album was a complete masterpiece from head to toe. I am thrilled and excited to see where music is going, and I hope to be able to draw and ebb my way into that on this web site.
please add my socials twitter.com/adviseore
instagram.com/adviseore
facebook.com/trevostuden
not sure about anything else. The person who is hosting this web page is no doubt going to remove it. I am trying to download all the content and start somewhere else. I am sure nobody cares, I got no reception from this web page or really any thing else I do. I think of myself as more important than I really am.
Artist: Gosudar
Morbid Despotic Ritual
Label: Rotted Life Year: 2021 Metallum: https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Gosudar
Considering the political world issues at hand, it’s no stranger to danger the mother land Russia of all places behold and brought to us this gnarly piece of brain music. Yes, I did indeed indicate the brain, the organ in which all of our faculties and decisions and actions are made. And it is just happenchance. That your ear lobes would kindly accept this kind of ingredient in your mix. It’s a brutal death metal, but in a traditional sense and a no holds barred barrage of bang and symphony of noises, it all comes together perfectly. When you listen to and hear Scripture of the Vile Testimony you begin to understand and recognize what these guys are capable of doing on that chainsaw guitar thing. I cannot encourage you enough to go out and get this piece of paradise, it will thrill and maybe even drive you to eradicate and stop all points necessary for a peace between two divisive worlds fighting each other into brutality. Let this music be a recognizer of what you should and demand. In all things of life. — любовне життя
There is a bombardment of thoughts happening. I do believe I have the ability to know and or recognize their position – signal and or design. But I’m still stuck and confused lost inside my own skull, how the fuck can I make any sense of this bullshit reality? well, I believe the good man presented you a manual at birthright and it was in shape and design of a book. But what book?
Gotta get some death metal brewing bestial devastating of the sort. That is which kind I like to recommend none other than the fathers themselves Bolt Thrower.
See? I’m not some kind of sick oddity, I am just a fellow hooligan trying to understand this ride.
It wasn’t brought to my attention until I’ve played several hours of a game, and I realize how many deaths and attempts I make to survive. It was then brought to my attention how this correlates with my actual life and existence. While in this physical life we only have one life to live, I do think that in the nature of Christendom we are living on many different of lives and must suffer to our flesh. It’s never a once and for all reality, but a continual and diligent process where we suffer and deal with our flesh. I think Paul exemplifies this well in the scriptures.
So much like these games we play, we do die many deaths but it’s with the mindset to get better and not suffer from continued defeats.
Today I am grateful for the friends and people in my life who can tolerate my continued battle with self and flesh and help offer me an opportunity that I extend to others. In a life filled with limitless potential it’s a relief to have the continued support and sympathy of others.
Nothing more is said from the band but one can only speculate and think that this is the grand entrance of their debut. I’ve been a long time fan of embodyment and its been a lot of anticipation and anxiety wondering whether they would ever release any new material and now after long loss, they will be delivering the goods. It doesn’t look like there is any indicators of WHEN, but at least there is a semblance of…. hope? https://www.facebook.com/hopedeferredofficial
Well, I thought it is due time that I get myself well and seated in the soul’s game, and with the help of technology and a much-needed PC upgrade, I was able to get my ass back in the game. You might be curious what I mean when I say, by technology, well this time around I am playing this game completely on the https://rpcs3.net/ emulator. Excitement and bewilderment confronted me, when I first loaded the game. For this being the older of the bunch, not mentioning the Kings Field games of course. My expectations are high, while still having a realistic level of excitement. Starting out this felt much easier and very welcoming, than how I encountered Dark Souls. The path and environments are not as linear and easy to understand as you would expect. Speaking of which, the first section of the game is very unclear on what you exactly need to do. What I mean is that I was running around blindly killing shit for hours before I finally figured out the hub and its purpose for both progress and fulfillment of the story.
The first section presents us in a large castle and there are hordes of zombie fiends and other disgusting beasts. It’s very depressing and downtrodden setting, much of what you have found comfortable and inviting with this style of games that fromSoft has given us. Well so far, I love the pace and the setting because it allows me enough time to get my bearings together and to learn the proper art of dueling and sparring with enemies.
The first boss is this giant black lava oozing blob that has these butcher knives that shoot out and try to kill you. I found it especially helpful to use the turpentine to enhance my weapons and summersault around the boss. It was with this victory that put in me my hope and determination to conquer the rest of the game.
Ninja’s! those pestering bastards and their shuriken shenanigans… I am about up to my knees with the amount of disturbance I’ve had around my neighborhood and my city, and all at the hands of their stealth assassinarry. Okay all kidding aside I think we can all agree that a ninja is badass, it’s with no introduction that I present to you Sega’s own Shinobi!
With the exception of Shinobi on the Saturn, I hadn’t had much if any introduction to the Shinobi series. For whatever reason growing up, this title never caught on to me as a kid, which is baffling because it’s an insanely awesome story and premise that encapsulates the series. I guess I did have my fare go at the Ninja Gaiden series on the Nintendo, but I am uncertain of whether these two series and universes had any association, because I do recall a subtle but foretelling reference from the first Ninja Gaiden. All that aside, I was plummeted face first into this action with no real introduction.
Starting out the game is relatively easy and straightforward, but behind the mask is a more detailed and complex machine working. See, you need to take into account the vast array of abilities you have at your disposal, and you can’t just go around throwing shuriken’s all willy nilly, because there is a limit and you will run out, speaking of which can summersault and spread an array of shuriken’s or simply throw one front forward.
Throughout your experience you will tread through many different environments and one thing I like about the game is that with each level you begin to develop and learn new maneuvers and techniques that prepare you for later stages of the game.
Which brings me to the real meat and potatoes of the game, which is the final stage. Because while, I do feel like the entire game does have a certain form of cohesion and balance and flow. When you get dropped into the final stage all that goes out the window.
This is a nightmare, where you will be forced to perform and do actions which require very quick and precise actions, and yes, if you haven’t figured it out yet by now, it’s by no accident or mistake but this game does indeed want to make and prepare you to be a menacing ninja yourself.
The sound, the music the atmosphere setting and art and overall presentation is picture perfect. And it is a very nuisance and multilayered experience, because there are many different variables to the game mechanics. It was with much excitement and resolve finally settling this beast, I look forward to more adventures and games to come.
Back when I was assimilated in this universe, I thought of myself something of a conjunction, or a harbinger, not something you would typically be able to conceptualize. Instead, I was I was made to allow myself a voice in itself a blast and something boisterous. This explosion, this climatic moment is nothing more than a grid hitting the iron, I see the goal but there might be a foul. At that moment I knew that I should surmount my base and begin perpetrations.
One thing a lot of people may or may-not know about me, is that I am heavily rooted in what is called as “Christian metal”, and hard music all around. I still find it silly to call it that, but I suppose for disambiguation and clarity its used. I still find the argument that would never call an inanimate object, “Christian” so how exactly a genre of music can have a faith of its own in a religion is a bit perplexing.
All that aside, a gentleman by the name of Billy, who is no stranger to death metal music has been around and kicking since the early 90’s, or quite possibly even the 80’s. I didn’t know about him until hearing his drumming on Oblation and later in his own one-man project known as Discern.
I later found out he was involved with Crimson Thorn, and many other death metal and “metal” projects. He is an insanely talented guy and its with great esteem and pleasure that I got to exchange some words with him. So, without further a due, here is the interview.
INTERVIEW….
QUESTION: First and foremost, thank you for this opportunity, and I hope you’re doing well. Tell me how you’re doing?
Billy Fraser: I am doing well brother, as I hope you are the same. I have been busy with work and also busy getting ready for the new DISCERN album coming out on Sound of White Noise Records. The album is pretty much all written and I am focusing on starting recording in a matter of months. A long time coming, as there have been many setbacks, but many are looking forward to the third installment of Spirit-Filled Death and I think they will be quite satisfied.
Q:What got you interested in death metal?
Just the simple fact of how powerful, heavy, and commanding good death metal truly is. As I was growing up, discovering so many metal bands, I was not only a lover of rock and traditional metal, but I was also always attracted to the most extreme bands as well. When I got into thrash at age 13, I was engulfed by so many bands such as Metallica, Anthrax, Deliverance, Morbid Scream, etc.. It was amazing how heavy and fast these bands were!
The next year, in 1988 when I was 14, I was exposed to even more bands, such as doom legends Trouble, Slayer, Vengeance, etc., and I joined a thrash metal band called Summoned, and we recorded our first and only demo, selling many copies in the underground. What an exciting time! I was only 14! One summer night afterwards, I was relaxing and listening to Z-Rock, a rock/metal radio station, and they played the title track of Death’s album, Leprosy, which had just come out. I was like ” What in the world is this??? LOL! ” I was so blown away by how much heavier Death was then everything I had heard up to that point. The riffs, the growling vocals….it was incredible! Shortly after, I heard Obituary’s album Slowly We Rot, and was also floored. The heaviness was unlike anything I had heard before!
Finally, after meeting my longtime friend Neal Christmas, in 1990, who showed me his underground band’s jambox recording, which they were called Brutal Death-simply put, and then right after when I heard Napalm Death’s album, From Enslavement to Obliteration, I was hooked on death metal and decided what the future held for myself!
Just when I thought thrash metal was the most intense and fastest form of music, death metal changed it all and took it up 10 levels!!! The stalwarts of the scene, such as Cannibal Corpse, Morbid Angel, Suffocation, Death, Napalm Death, Deicide, Vader, Obituary, and such, instigated what has now become such a huge and vast scene.
To correlate, my band Summoned was already starting to write more in the lines of death metal and departing from our thrash influences, later on in our existence, by 1990, having songs very much influenced by Obituary and the blasting power of Napalm Death. Unfortunately, those songs were never recorded. Through the bands Summoned and Oblation, and my musical band/project, DISCERN, playing death metal has been a huge part of my life for the past 33 years.
Q: Can you remember back your earliest influences and interests in metal music? doesn’t necessarily have to be death metal, but metal in general.
My biggest and all-time musical influence is KISS. They are the ones that started it all for me and I owe it all to them. I was 3 years old when I saw a commercial for them, and I was astounded. I did not really understand WHAT I was looking at, while being only 3 years old. I thought they were a mixture of a rock band and superheroes-LOL! Everything about them spoke to me-their music, their show, and their image. While The Beatles influenced KISS themselves, and countless other bands, KISS was my ” Beatles ” per se.
I then decided right at that moment when I was 3 years old and watching that KISS commercial, that I was going to be a drummer. The next year, at age 4, I started playing drums. What is funny is throughout this turning point in life that KISS brought me, my mom would not allow me to buy their albums at age 4…HA HA! I was SO mad! LOL! So, I started listening to various other bands I could get my hands on, such as Foreigner, Journey, and ultimately, the first rock album I ever owned was Queen-The Game. Queen brought everything to another level, as their talent and ability to do anything they wanted to do musically, showed me that there are no limits with what you can do as a musician.
From that point up, by age 7, my mom allowed me to start buying KISS albums, so I built up quite a collection of their albums, along with other bands such as Def Leppard, Duran Duran, ZZ Top, etc. By this point, discoveries of so many metal bands started coming into play, which was around the same time I came to know the Lord at age 11.
By then, I was introduced to many Christian metal bands, such as Bloodgood, Stryper, Barren Cross, Soldier, Cross, Philadelphia, Barnabas, Messiah Prophet, Saint, Paradox, and tons more in the Christian Underground scene. I also heavily admired Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, etc. From then on, it was the discovery of thrash and death metal that set the course for myself.
Q: Do you game at all? whether it be video games or tabletop, I am interested in hearing about it.
I actually do not game currently but when I was young I did! Back in the early 80s, when Atari came out, I did very much play many of those games, along with Nintendo and Sega games. Hours and hours were dedicated to those fun games! By 1993 or so, I was not playing those games anymore.
Q: You ever meet or hang around the guys from Embodyment? them being a fellow Texas death metal band, I figured you might have shared some air.
Yes! My band Oblation played many gigs with them, and I talked with a few of the members many times during that time. Very cool guys!
Q: Did you ever get to meet Wayne Knupp from Devourment?
No I did not, and I was very saddened to hear of his passing. However, I met Kevin Clark, who has played guitar for Devourment off and on, at a Disencumbrance show, when he was jamming with them. Great guy!
Q: How in the hell did you learn all these instruments?
I have no idea! LOL! I am a drummer, first and foremost, and I always label myself as a drummer playing guitar…LOL! All of this just came from having so many musical ideas in my head that I wanted to release into the world. I would jam on fellow band member’s guitars between jam sessions, trying to figure out how to do what, and I would come up with guitar riffs.
In my band Summoned, when we were turning into death metal in 1990, from thrash, I was coming up with guitar riffs among the drumming, and would show Brandon, the singer and rhythm guitarist, and he would incorporate them into the songs if they fit. In Oblation, I was learning more on the guitar, and finally, DISCERN, being a side project, turned into my main thing once Oblation disbanded.
I will say this about my guitar playing: Simple and without any head knowledge. I just do it. I do not know music theory or one guitar scale, I just play what comes out of me, and what comes out are songs. That is, it.
Q: Favorite movie, book and current album?
I am a huge movie buff but I prefer Foreign movies over American movies. Foreign movies have so much more atmosphere, better setting, better acting, and more intensity. Foreign movies that are my faves are The Raid and The Raid 2, both of which are the most incredible action movies ever made. Overall, I have so many favorite movies, but if I had to pick ONE, which is nearly impossible, it would be the American film, The Blues Brothers, which technically, was my first exposure to the music of Blues at a young age.
Regarding current albums: Every day I have been listening to one of my all time favorite bands, VNV Nation, who is an Irish alternative electronic band. Their songwriting, beats, etc. are just phenomenal! I also worship with Michael W. Smith’s various praise albums many times throughout the week. As far as death metal, lately it has been a combination of Vader, Mortician, and Skeletal Remains.
Books: Although I love to read and have loved it all of my life, I have several faves: Rotten: No Irish, No Blacks, No Dogs and Anger Is An Energy, both by John Lydon/Johnny Rotten, of The Sex Pistols and P.I.L.. Both are fantastic, and I highly admire John with his wisdom and outlook on life.
Regarding books dealing with our Christian life, there are 3 that have stuck out that I love dearly:
Two written by a pastor friend of mine, J. Kevin Butcher, and those are: Choose and Choose Again and his follow-up book, Free. Both are outstanding and they dig deep into the core of God’s true love, grace, and redemption for us all. I have read both many times and I get something out of doing so each time. I cannot recommend these books enough.
The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning is not only the battery that jump started my friend J. Kevin Butcher’s calling to write his two above books, it also changed his life dramatically and it changed mine too. Learning to fully understand and embrace God’s love for us empowers us as Believers to walk more in fellowship with Him. I cannot recommend these books enough!
Q: Advice for somebody who might be thinking about killing themselves?
Even though I am not 100% fully qualified to answer this question to the extent this question deserves to be answered, as I have not struggled with this myself, my thoughts are this………..
One thing to remember is this concrete rule: Feelings lie. What one may feel may not be actual reality. Anything mentally that attempts to steal your life, joy, meaning, and worth, is not based in reality, but in the many characteristics of mental illness. Myself having OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), I know this firsthand. What I may feel at a given time may not, and very often is not, based in reality.
The key is to grasp the tools given to us by God, who is real and who loves you with an unfailing love, through His knowledge and hand in the field of mental health and through professionals/organizations who specialize in these issues and others. The help is there, and the amount of help is vast.
There truly is not only help, but tools available to put oneself onto the path of healing and assistance. It just takes one small step of moving forward to begin the proper healing. Grasp all of the MANY examples of assistance out there in this world when it comes to this subject. There is so much to take advantage of: Therapy, first and foremost, counseling, group therapy, medications prescribed by a doctor who knows your body’s chemical makeup and framework, and so forth.
This concludes the interview, after getting his responses it opened me up to wanting to ask more questions, but hopefully the opportunity will present itself again and I’ll be able to ask him more questions, maybe even in more of a podcast format with actual audible dialogue. I am happy he brought up God because what separates this brand of death metal from other bands is their unabashed message and hope in Christ.
Please help me get upgraded! I have been working at this same level and it has been fun, but I want to advance further and go in even bigger directions. Please help make this a possibility, I have this here as a price point. So I want to try to get to $500 for the pc project. Once I fulfill this, I can better do my work and things will roll out faster.
It’s not something to easily do or accomplish on your own it takes a lot of patience and endurance to get through work and labor. I know my body starts to ache and pain and my thoughts begin to wander into, “giving up”. But the Lord gives us the ability to accomplish many things and never stumble. I found a song that reminds me of these things, it is by a Swedish man by the name of Oscar Rask, he is the musician for the band Since the Death. Enjoy.
Its been slow around here, I am still looking for new Interviews and need to finish the Klank review.
I feel like piece of shit for saying this that is because I am, not in the literal sense but in the metaphorical and or abstract kind of sense. Because as a species and a living organism we’re too fucking trapped in our own minds. And social media and the internet and all of it is a big part of the blame, but the big derailment was the covid virus spread that encouraged and put people in this isolation mindset, that did shift a lot otherwise social people into the lifestyle.
Looking at our cities and our environment we need to wake up to pollution and toxic waste. We need to figure out ways to help harvest our environment. Not destroy it and rob it. I think. My outlook lately has been on too much finger pointing and hating. I need to wake up to the fact that this life is valuable, and it deserves to be loved and shared and helped for not destroyed and abandoned and hated.
Working a shit job that sucks, and with this heat its really easy to lose your shit and get angry. And we have to be aware of that and be considerate and loving and understanding. As best as we can. Because life is above all the highest goal and achievement.
This week has been burdensome to me, because now I am seeing that I am doing too little and expecting too much. I need to live by my means and not overextend my boundaries. In these coming weeks and months, I hope to develop more into my disciple and character and start to mature and help myself, but most of all help others.
I am finishing the “the normal Christian life” by 倪柝聲. He shared a particularly encouraging story that I thought I would copy and write to you from the book….
“In 1929 I returned from Shanghai to my hometown of Foochow. One day I was walking along the street with a stick, very weak and in broken health, and I met one of my old college professors. He took me into a teashop where we sat down. He looked at tme from head tot foot and from foot to head, and then he said: “Now look here; during your college days we thought a good deal of you, and we had hope that you would achieve something great. Do you mean to tell me that this is what you are?” Looking at the me with penetrating eyes, he asked that very pointed question. I must confess that, on hearing it, my first desire was to break and weep. My career, my health, everything had gone, and here was my old professor who taught me law in the school, asking me: “Are you still in this condition, with no success, to progress, nothing to show?”
But the very next moment—and I have to admit that in all my life it was the first time–I really knew what it means to have the, “spirit of glory” resting upon me.” -倪柝聲, The Normal Christian Life, pages 278 – 279
倪柝聲 later suffered and died in prison as a devoted follower of Christ, his last recorded words were written on a piece of paper found after his death that said: “Christ is the Son of God who died for the redemption of sinners and resurrected after three days. This is the greatest truth in the universe. I die because of my belief in Christ.” -倪柝聲.
Never disavow your faith and trust in God. Your reward in heaven is something you cannot physically comprehend on this physical earth. And furthermore, something you will come to know and realize a relationship with Christ IS the most rewarding experience on this earth.
I am going to make myself vulnerable and discuss and speak about something that has personally affected me for a long time but have never publicly spoken about it. This is not a joke and something I make light of for sympathy or any other ulterior motive. I simply want freedom from this and get back a sense of myself and true identity.
I hear audible voices/hallucinations, they come and go. It happens daily, whether home or out and about. It doesn’t matter what I am doing, they are always around. I’ve been having these kinds of episodes for over 2 decades now I am almost 40 years old. I’ve had a theory that at some point in my life somebody planted surveillance technology in my body, but I am not sure.
I am aware that drugs/alcohol do have symptoms of paranoia hallucinations from withdrawal. But I do not have an addiction to anything.
These voices are too specific and conscious, like a real living person. They respond to my thoughts and consciousness. Whether I say something with my mind they can hear and repeat whatever I think. And sometimes they just speak without reason.
I do take medication, but I am currently on a new medication that I’ve only been using for a short time. I speak to a psychiatrist and get mental health treatment. I may need deliverance from demonic possession, but this is something I’ve dealt with for over 2 decades now.
Something a lot of people today are interested in today is media and entertainment, I am no exception. I was born in 1984 and at my inception, I was groomed and brought up on a healthy dosage of it. I think our family was one of the few in the early 90’s to have the privilege of owning a home computer, TV, VCR and Video Games. I even remember it being a big deal to go over to my cousin’s house and they had a home video camcorder, for recording home movies. And of course, my grandparents even had HBO in the early days, which was amazing being able to watch actual uncensored movies.
Throughout my childhood I had the privilege of owning a NES, compliments of my grandma (on my dad’s side). I remember it came packaged with a dual cart of volleyball and soccer. And then I remember having to a cool spot game, that was a sort of puzzle game. And then later introduced to the Mario games, Milons Secret Castle, Astyanax, Mad Max, Home Alone and who knows what else? this really sparked my interest in video games and my love for it as a kid.
After the NES, my parents bought me a Sega Game Gear and that interjected in me a love and interest for Sega, but what really drove my devotion to Sega was receiving my free subscription to Sega Visions magazine. Yes, I still don’t have any idea how I started getting the magazine, but I do vaguely remember turning in one of those cards that would be included in an instruction booklet and can only surmise that that must have been why they began sending it to me.
After the Game Gear, my memory gets a little cloudy, but I do recall selling my NES and its games to FuncoLand to buy a Sega CD. I remember having Willy Beamish, Vay, Sewer Shark, Rise of the Dragon. This was also what interjected in me a morbid curiosity about the taboo and suggestive themes possible in games. Yes, I had this morbid curiosity about that game Night Trap, and it was my pursuit or eventually try and obtain and own it. Well that never did happen for me. I was shot down by an employee at FuncoLand when they interrupted my purchase to let my mom know that it was an “adult” game. That is neither here nor there, but just a funny story I remember.
Later when all my friends were getting into the PlayStation, I went a different route and got a Saturn. I remember. Saving a long time to get Panzer Dragoon Saga off of eBay for $150, and the guy was nice enough to even include a copy of x-men vs street fighter, with the 4mb cart. The Saturn was when I really started to seriously collect and buy for. I had all the AAA games and then some. I worked my ass off working lawn car to pay for them. That was my biggest drive and motivator to do landscaping.
I then got a Dreamcast and collected and had a lot of games for that too, almost all the defining games. In between all of this I remember having a PSX and N64, and PlayStation 2. This was more fueled by my older brother. I did get a 360 later and really enjoyed that console, especially the Xbox live service. This introduced me to Dark Souls and really jump started my love and interest for next generation games.
So, this summarizes and concludes my collecting for video games in retrospect it was a fun and memorable experience, but something about video games is that there was always video game outlets and sites like eBay where you could buy, sell, trade and this like a kind of recycling and retribution helped give and take the hobby. I think all this to say, is that now in my adult life I will never, and no way shape or form ever dream or even think about owning any of this stuff today.
As for today I buy digitally and play on computer. Most games I enjoy today are via emulation. If I feel a moral conviction or obligation about something I will pay or do my civil duty to compensate something that I believe garners it vestment. But no, I will not have a room loaded with physical media to show off and brag about online. See when I collected video games, it wasn’t so much a thing of what it is today.
I love video games, I like playing them, I love that it encourages brain activity and motor function, it encourages friendly competition and comradeship with people. It’s a healthy and positive past time. But like anything else it does have its share of pitfalls and dangers. But one thing I know about physical media and collecting really anything for that matter, is that we are mortal and finite beings that will someday be dissolved from this earth, and when your dead and gone none of that stuff will accompany you or be a part of you. And yes, I do believe that there will be a judgment and a moment before God where we will need to answer and account for our time here on this earth, and I do with all sincerity hope that He will find my life here an acceptable example of living. And if you’re not a believer yourself, I encourage you to do some searching and develop a relationship with God or at least come to terms or grips with whatever you find agreeable in your existence. Because see it’s not up to me, it’s up to you as an individual and as your own person to decide and figure this stuff out for yourself.
streaming is fun and it is a “community” but it’s all monetized and incentivized around money. It ruins the fun and the grain and fabric of authenticity in place of greed and status. It’s the catastrophic dichotomy of the internet. And entertainment in general. It’s no fault, in anybody and there is no point in finger pointing but it does trivialize and cause me concern to think about this, because while yes, I do enjoy my hobbies and extracurricular activities, but I am perplexed to think that maybe I need to meditate and think about what God has in opportunity for me? because I by myself am swirling in confusion. And not mention the constant schizoid voices and/or demons and are infecting my brain daily, its intolerable to deal with a lot of things placed in front of me. I do want to put more effort and devotion into building this page into something better, but I cannot benial authenticity. 1st world problems, demand first world solutions… and that might be to get all sloshed or meddle my face in a batter of misery. But no there is hope and there is a path that leads and absolves doubt fear and depression and that is in the convincing and comfortable scriptures of our father God in heaven who has gifted us with the bible, so read it and meditate on it like a great piece of food or savory delicacy.
I am sorry to my fans of apathy and depression, and otherwise self-loathing and determinantal mental gymnastics aside. I am laid distressed at this pedigree of life choices I’m faced with. It’s with privilege and duty that I am offered a life to breathe and exist so that I might share this with you, and I hope in good mood.
My psychology and thinking are getting better, but there is still this disconnect between reality and the spiritual. And or if government conspiracy paranoia is present. It never ends and I may die having this mystery in my mind.
倪柝聲 later suffered and died in prison as a devoted follower of Christ, his last recorded words were written on a piece of paper found after his death that said: “Christ is the Son of God who died for the redemption of sinners and resurrected after three days. This is the greatest truth in the universe. I die because of my belief in Christ.” -倪柝聲.
Something a lot of people today are interested in today is media and entertainment, I am no exception. I was born in 1984 and at my inception, I was groomed and brought up on a healthy dosage of it. I think our family was one of the few in the early 90’s to have the privilege of owning a home computer, TV, VCR and Video Games. I even remember it being a big deal to go over to my cousin’s house and they had a home video camcorder, for recording home movies. And of course, my grandparents even had HBO in the early days, which was amazing being able to watch actual uncensored movies.
After the Game Gear, my memory gets a little cloudy, but I do recall selling my NES and its games to FuncoLand to buy a Sega CD. I remember having Willy Beamish, Vay, Sewer Shark, Rise of the Dragon. This was also what interjected in me a morbid curiosity about the taboo and suggestive themes possible in games. Yes, I had this morbid curiosity about that game Night Trap, and it was my pursuit or eventually try and obtain and own it. Well that never did happen for me. I was shot down by an employee at FuncoLand when they interrupted my purchase to let my mom know that it was an “adult” game. That is neither here nor there, but just a funny story I remember.
streaming is fun and it is a “community” but it’s all monetized and incentivized around money. It ruins the fun and the grain and fabric of authenticity in place of greed and status. It’s the catastrophic dichotomy of the internet. And entertainment in general. It’s no fault, in anybody and there is no point in finger pointing but it does trivialize and cause me concern to think about this, because while yes, I do enjoy my hobbies and extracurricular activities, but I am perplexed to think that maybe I need to meditate and think about what God has in opportunity for me? because I by myself am swirling in confusion. And not mention the constant schizoid voices and/or demons and are infecting my brain daily, its intolerable to deal with a lot of things placed in front of me. I do want to put more effort and devotion into building this page into something better, but I cannot 
