the message at church today was on humility and putting others first. How contrary the message that is pervading into my mind on a daily basis. God, I need to do better, it’s unreal how bad I’ve become. Christ 1st > neighbor, then self.
Additionally, I was exposed to a video of a man who has become so reliant and spiraled out on alcohol. And watching and hearing him it made me so sick because I was seeing myself in him, and it made me ill. I have to do better. I know I say it a lot, but I am serious dammit, I am making a moral inventory and starting to change everything. I was able to get rid of alcohol almost completely and have also done the same with marijuana and nicotine. Bit by bit I am removing the hedges and thorns that are creating an obstacle in my life. But it’s not a one stop fix for all, it requires daily management and work.
I have to do better for not only myself, but for my son. And for my own family and the people I am not even aware of who are watching my every move and action and are judging me with a magnifying glass. And Im too damn stupid to even realize it.
2023 was the ignite in me, 2024 was the preparation, but 2025 is going to be the actual action and work. With my newfound faith in God nothing is an obstacle it’s a challenge and mountain to climb and overcome.
