Suicide Bomber has blown himself up inside an Orthodox Church in Damascus

Atrocities like this and other evils are occurring more and more. The divide is clear and evident. We have marganalized branch of people whom a. dont care, b. Christian c. muslim d. any other religion e. satanic f. nihilist/misanthropist

Is it necessary to know you are a christian or an unbeliever or a whatever the case? yes! it does make a good deal of sense, and it really clears the air and the idea of the kind of person you are. And in the case of Christianity its becoming a better person.

Its not ned flanders its not the caricature or meme or stereotype of anything. Its sacrifice, its suffering its giving up the things that destroy and instead choosing the things to give to life. Yes I am aware of jefferey dahmer, and yes I am aware of sick pervert child molesters, rich and pathetic preachers filling offering plates to live luxury lives they do not deserve.

When you crawl and dig at the bottom of a gutter, and you find humanity like you have never experienced, you begin to see and realize the true picture and reality of Christ. The good news is, is that you don’t need to go down a road of lies, deceit and manipulation. You can make your yes, be yes and your no mean no. You can give a person a dollar because you can afford to, and do it out of kindness and generosity. See a lot of this wasn’t made evidently clear to me, and that is because this flesh and meat I carry on these bones was so pathetic and so deprived it would do anything to feed its indulgences. But now I see I without a shadow of a doubt the reality and the painstaking consequence of suffering and survival.

Its not going to be easy going ahead, but I am ok with whatever circumstances come ahead. Because I know, now in my head where my priorities and my beliefs are. I don’t need to prove a thing to man, I cannot satisfy you, you and me are of the same cloth, we are broken and defeated by the detriment of sin. Christ is the reconciliation and the peace.

I cannot correct my wrongs or fix the damage that has been done, but I can try to do better every day. One thing is for sure, I do want my son to know I love him, and that he must know I didn’t know a damn thing about love until I truly understood the love of Christ. The whole situation with me and Rachel and my son is the biggest hurt and hurdle in my life, and sadly I don’t see a good ending or resolution to it. I would love to be able to be apart of his life and be there, but from my perspective nobody wants me around him.