Well I suppose it’s about time that I made it clear who exactly I am and who runs this webpage.
my name is Trevor Markiv. I get my last name from biological dad, Ron. My mom is of English and German decent. But if you are curious I was born in America. I live and grew up here in Michigan. Ive also lived in grand rapids, Mi.. Billerica, MA and Denton and Gainesville, TX.
My early life was in Lansing, Mi. In 2007 I decided to move out to Massachusetts and be with the woman whom I thought was the love of my life. We met over the webpage LiveJournal. We talked for years on that page, and even exchanged private mail and had numerous phone calls between each other, before I finally made the decision to go out there and be with her.
Much of the time was spent getting to know her and eventually working. I got a good doing warehouse work at Scully Signal Company in Wilmington, MA. This job was acquired through her uncle, a man whom I respect and admire. Me and my son’s mother worked with him one day at his house out in the yard, and after the day was over we all developed a bond and trust with each other, this really encouraged me and me feel secure with my place there.
Over time, I started to get feelings of worry and doubt about my relationship, she had a lot of guy friends, much more guys were apart of her life than woman. This made me feel like the lesser man in her life. I couldn’t handle the feelings of being the lesser man, and like a coward I ran back home.
The day I left her, I remember it very vivid and clear, because when I was getting on that greyhound bus, she delivered a punch directly square in my face, but as you might of already guessed, she did hit like a girl, and it didn’t do much but reaffirm my suspicion that she didn’t care all that much about me. I was young and stupid, and now I suffer the consequences of my actions.
I have a 17 year old son, whom I admire and respect and love more than anyone else in this situation. He is my life, and my only hope of a future in this world. Because now my life, while it doesn’t rest on his shoulders, it does in a sense rest on my own. Because since that day in flint when I went to take the paternity test, this is when I learned that my life would forever change financially.
I’ve worked several different jobs throughout my life, my first job was at Kroger as a bagger, then I worked doing telemarketing for the American cancer society. Later getting into lawncare and snow care, dishwashing, pantry cook, stocking and food preparation at Michigan state university. More ware house and manufacturing work in grand rapids, namely notions marketing, Kellogg’s and Michigan turkey.
The last real job I had was painting as an independent contractor, while working for myself I was under contract from a company that paid me.
I suppose throughout my life I have always remained and loved technology and video games. Not necessarily, interconnected but always stuck with me. As a child I grew up into a home in Lansing, my dad worked at General Motors and my stayed home and taught us 5 kids school. It was good start to living. But when I was finishing the 3rd grade, my parents divorced and that is when satan started to introduce himself to me.
I always was taught about Christianity at a young age, and it did reflect and show me things, but I was young and hadn’t had any life experience so my view of the world was very distorted by the media and gossip, more than the actual truth and reality of life. During many stages I have walked and stumbled, I got bad into drugs and alcohol, I started to get an unhealthy obsession and interest into satanic death metal and black metal music. And with this introduction, it began to destroy me, but my flesh and earthly body is still here on this rock.
See I have had numerous suicide attempts in my life, a lot of which put me into intensive care units, standoffs with police and just downright shameful and deplorable behavior that, that has really destroyed me.
Throughout my my life I’ve been in two serious automobile accidents, the first was with my sister. And the second was by myself, in my mom’s Toyota. I was driving around, trying to find a tattoo parlor, and I couldn’t for the life of me find where it was at. So I eventually pulled over and got some food. It was at that time that I got back on the road feeling more confident and good, but my started ringing and it somewhere on the floor and I couldn’t find it, so while driving with 1 arm, I started to use my other arm to reach around and try to answer the call, add to the fact the nature and severity of speeds and environment on the road I had completely totaled my mom’s car.
And after the accident, I was introduced by two guys, I wasn’t sure who they were, but they instantly got into my car and started talking to me, and that is when I learned about Jehovah witnesses, a group and organization ran in America.
After that accident, I didn’t feel a thing. Because it happened too fast and for whatever reason the vehicle while completely destroyed except for the very place I was sitting.
if you’re curious, https://www.jw.org/en/ us the web site. I dont know a damn thing about the place or organization.
My relationship with Christ and God is an experience between myself and my creator, its not not an action film or music cd, where it has an ending. Because here I am at 40 years old with no job, and no real idea how I am going to move forward and support myself.
I am on social security disability, because I do hear voices and I do have visions of things. These are all occurrences which happen with, or without the use of drugs and hallucinogens. I think that when you get so involved with your story, you begin to stop and feel a need to make yourself aware of your surroundings and environment.
I started to use a computer keyboard as a child, we had a home computer, my dad was a good tinsmith. He has always been able to work and deal with machinery. He to this day still gathers scraps and raw metal and gets money salvaging it.
He is retired now, and while yes is alive and well he hasn’t been around me or much of anyone. And even now I am starting to get kind of depressed because I am finally figuring out that my life has become isolation and fear and abonnement.
During my life time I have been in and out of many psychiatric hospitals namely Forest View, Pine Rest intensive care units, you name it Ive been through it. Between drugs and alcohol, sex and fantasy are just that, a distorted view of my own interpretation of life. See that how you know who is actually speaking.
How do I know the keys on the keyboard? I don’t. I just do. And that is the nature and function of humanity. But your actions do have a purpose and a responsibility, and that is to benefit and help the earth and planet not destroy it. And so whether you are Christian or a nonbeliever I want to make it evidently clear, that living a lifestyle of repeated acts of constant sex, private time in your room masturbating, and all those phantasies you make up in your head about that cute girl you saw the store.
See I am a man, but I am only human. And I do have a responsibility and that is the Gospel and teachings of Christ. So my intentions and my web page Devout Craziness are definitely without a doubt CHRISTIAN.
If you are curious about my lifestyle and how I keep my body the way it is, I have always been athletic, in the sense that I got very big interest in bodybuilding, but no I do not want to be a bodybuilder. I mean if somebody wants to hand over a bucket of money and a solution to all my debt, I would gladly accept it. But that is not in the cards.
Life is not about being perfect, its not trying to be anything other than yourself. Whether you believe you in satanism, islamic, jewish, catholic, jewish….. CHRISTIAN. Im only one person, and these fingers can only move so fast.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, skull might be a little thick. But christ is is trying to get through to you. He is tapping and and pointing you in the direction you should go, so start doing what the Lord wants you to do. See this webpage, or “blog” as silly as that sounds, is being made from myself. I do pay my friend Noah for the sever and domain, to operate and maintain the site. With this in mind, I do need help and by help I want to help myself to getting back to work!
