The worst part about all of this, is that I lost the relationship of my son, Rachel and her uncle who – later passed away, and was the sole reason I got the job to be able to support both riley, Rachel and myself. Prior to his death, we had the best times together, me and them would work out in their garden and would drink beers and just laugh and have great times together. It was the best moment of my time there.
Me and Rachel did not get along with each other. She had this idea about me, and I had my ideas about her. But we were in our 20’s at the time, and I am not sure all of the details. Regardless, I did try to help and be a part of their lives. When I spoke to her uncle, a man of which I will always remember and never forget, is that he taught me something very important about life, and that’s the ability to work and enjoy yourself with your family and community. Those were the best times we had on this earth.
My life forward has been nothing but a cyclone of chaos and destruction. Every which way I turn, there seems to be a bad ending. And nothing in my ability can help the situation, other than the ability to rely on God to help me through the hurt.
Life is not easy, for anyone! there is no one shot magic pill or some kind of weird wizardry that can come and fix things, in an instant. Everything takes time and work, and labor and hurt and that is all at the cost of man and labor.
We do wrestle with flesh and blood.
But ultimately, we are in the end of times. Life is not infinite, this world around us will not survive. And if our resource of comfort takes priority over helping and contributing to the community. Then we are all going to be left dead and out on the streets.
I dont know what the future has in store for me.
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